After every inspection, engineers fill out a form, called a “inspection sheet” which tells maintenance technicians about problems within the plant. The technicians correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the plant engineer review the inspection sheets before the next startup. Never let it be said that technicians and operators lack a sense of humor. Here are maintenance complaints submitted by Inspectors (“I”) and solutions recorded (“S”) by maintenance engineers:

Mechanical

I

Mechanical seals almost needs replacement.

S

Almost replaced mechanical seals.

I

Something loose in equipment

S

Something tightened in equipment

I

Pump hums.

S

Replaced pump with lyrics.

I

Some liquid carryover in flare during shutdown

S

Cannot reproduce problem.

I

Evidence of leak under the valve.

S

Evidence removed.

I

Compressor volume unbelievably loud.

S

Compressor volume set to more believable level.

I

Suspected crack in reactor wall

S

Suspect you’re right.

Controls & Valves

I

SCADA inoperative in OFF mode.

S

SCADA always inoperative in OFF mode.

I

Number 3 flare missing.

S

Flare found on roof after brief search.

I

Friction locks cause valve levers to stick.

S

That’s what friction locks are for

I

Valve handles funny in manual operation.

S

Valve warned to: straighten up, close right, and be serious in manual operation

Facilities

I

Dead bugs in control room.

S

Live bugs on back-order.

I

Mouse in warehouse.

S

Cat installed.

I

Noise heard near the entrance door of the boiler room. Sounds like ‘knocking’

S

Opened the door

I

Terrible smell near flange

S

Air freshener placed